Support in recovery is so important. Sadly, many of us who have struggled with addiction just don't have the support we need. Sometimes, this support was just never present for a variety of reasons. It may also be that our struggles with addiction have slowly worn away our circle of support as well. For many, it has been a combination of both of these things that have led to a real lack of support in our lives. Regardless of how this lack of support happens, it is a situation many of us find ourselves in when working towards making changes in our drug and alcohol use and an important area to address when looking at changing our use of substances.
This desire for change with a lack of support poses quite a dilemma, because as human beings we truly are wired for connection. Part of this means that having a feeling of connection and support with others is something we need to live happy, healthy, and successful lives. In fact, without it we typically feel the opposite. Isolation, loneliness, and depression. (Which happen to be triggers to use for many of us as well). This is especially true for the hard stuff we deal with in our lives. When it comes to making big life changes, including changing our use of substances, doing so with people around us who love us, care about our success, and want to help us do well is so important. In other words, we need this love, care, and support to be successful, but for many of us, we just don't have it, or at least as much of it as we need. So what do we do?!
Building that circle of support needs to be a priority if we want to see ourselves be successful. This can look very different for different people. Bottomline, this means needing to step out of our comfort zone and form new relationships. This can be hard and scary to do. Change often feels uncomfortable! This also means really taking a good look inward and thinking about what we truly need in our relationships to help them be successful and going and actively searching for that in our new relationships. I also think it's important to state that this also doesn't mean that we can't reconnect and build loving relationships with family or other people already in our lives because that absolutely is not the case. Establishing loving, healthy, and supportive relationships with family and friends takes time, but it absolutely can be done and plays such a huge role in our success.
Questions about building support or anything else addiction/sobriety related? Feel free to get in touch!